Twenty two...

Twenty two, twenty two.....

an age when I'm no longer being called a little girl.
an age when a new stage is coming, a marriage, where many of my friends have already been in.

but every time Mom said, "don't be lazy, otherwise, ur kids will be lazy like u", I always said to myself "I'm not gonna get married".

Something that I was always dreaming about for the entire life, has vanished.


And I repeat again, whether fear or shame.

But it says so, pictures of past always have impact in pictures of future.

Past in Present

Why am I become like this?
Why did past treat me so bad?


Truly, what I wanted badly is now out of my mind,
a marriage happens in my life


Whether hopeless, fear, or pain made me so.


So, I just want to say all of these, words that would never be spoken out to people.


Whether fear or shame...
But the pain is still here, in my heart, my soul, my mind
in every drop of my blood flowing in my body.

Not Gonna Make It

I realize, I'm not gonna make it.
We are not gonna make it.
He failed to stand and tell them that he wants me.

If so, next, how will he say that he wants to take me as her wife to them?
I guess that will be impossible.

I'm hopeless.
I give up.