Throw Me Away

Throw me away to a place no body knows me

Throw me away so that those knowing me will forget my existance

Throw me away so that no one will be embarrassed of my presence

Though being alone is not something i wish.

But fate gave me this!

Throw me away when time is killing me,

When wrinkles are taking over my face,

When fellows are having their babies.

In the Sound of Elegy

Sometimes

I wish to hear sound of elegy

To find a body

With no sense

A face without countenance

No cry or laugh

No tear or smile

No pain or joy

An endless silence of mine

In a pale face, in closed eyes

In the sound of elegy

A Bird with a Broken Wing

In lonesomeness

I realize that i am a bird with a broken wing

I can’t fly as the others do

I build my nest by myself and live it alone

I put a mask on my face, pretending nothing happens, hiding my own feeling when they begin to look down at me for having no one,  those who know NOTHING about me. 

A Happiness Seeker

Boys
Some are cheaters
Some are liars
Some like to say bad words
and only few are good ones

Aku memang naif
Aku tak tahu banyak hal
Aku bukan pula orang bisa dibanggakan

But I'm a happiness seeker, hoping to get it from a good person, who can be a good leader, warn me when my way is getting wrong, protect me from bad things, never say rude words to me, a person who always  gives his shoulder to me when life gets hard.

Like an Iron

Hey dear, I told you before that the honey is poisonous.
Honey that promises you of sweetness is just hidden poison.


Just keep away, against your feeling that desires to have it.
No matter what, keep your heart tough and strong like an iron.


Keep your head straight forward. Don't ever look around, seeing others having the honey, whether it is poisonous or not. For you, it's always poisonous.


As I told you, trying to taste honey will make you live like a wheel.
You might begin it with joy but when you reach the top, when you have no control over yourself, even toward your own desire, you will be dump. Your desire will be like a piece of rubbish on a road. You will feel pain dear, you will. And once you try to get up and welcome a new sun shine, you will experience the same. 'Cause you are too special.


So dear, keep away, keep away. 
Keep your heart tough and strong like an iron. 

Untitled

It's a shame
I was used to be an outsider
my duties were to observe how funny people are when their attention is stolen by someone
to smile or even to laugh

But now I got my turn,
yet I struggle to deny this weird thing

Dear God, part 2

Age is something we can't hold or pause.

And mine keeps running

and i fear if i get no chance to taste the sweetness of love before it's too late,

when all the birds have their own homes, and i knew i got no.

Sometimes i'm afraid if my memories will be dust to you, as wind coming to you, erasing me. And you get nothing to remember.

And as i am far, i get no chance to be with you.

And as i aint Indian, i get no chance to own you. Because it is only given with the authority of your family.

And honestly i say, im afraid of wrinkles taking over my face and people will ask why you are alone. 

Dear God

The more I live, the more I'm disappointed
I feel sick.
I need to talk to someone,
or to You, God
to share what I have been fighting 
with my own self-esteem,
to love and to be loved.
Do I deserve to be?
when nothing I can be proud of.


I feel sick
I need to talk
to someone
to just listen to me
and to understand how hard to be me,
to be a victim,
to lose self-esteem
to love and to be loved.